have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
