In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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