Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
