it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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