Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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