The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
