Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
