it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
