There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
