need another drink. this is the easiest way
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
