I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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