I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
