this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You're earring is so big in my mouth
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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