I accidentally had phone sex last night
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
