i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
