Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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