I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize