I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
