I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
