wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
