dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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