Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i will never coherently bang her
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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