it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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