You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
