My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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