doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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