Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
