Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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