What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
