it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
