god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
