just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
