Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
