What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
