Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
