Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
