he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
