We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
