Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
