so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
