your room smells of hookers.
And success
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize