sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
