Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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