i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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