there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
