You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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