You're completely useless in the revolution.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
