dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
