just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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