when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
