i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
