i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
