remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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