I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
