No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
