C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
