I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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