shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
