Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
